Do Downers Make Peace with Life?

Hope. It's is a strange thing. For some reason it's hard for me to hold on to. I remember the first time I watched Sideways, it worried me that I related to Miles, the balding, discouraged, character that Paul Giamatti plays. I wasn't balding and my novel didn't get rejected by a publisher and I wasn't still in love with my ex-wife who was getting re-married and having a baby; but I was discouraged, and I'd pretty much believed that I was a failure of sorts. Even though nothing had actually happened. I projected this whole future in which I would do some job I wasn't into and never find an outlet from it and end up alone. Feeling pretty glum about my prospects in the universe, because I haven't really done anything in college that's given me direction for the future. That's how I felt and thought last spring break. But I feel more hopeful now. I learned to replace my irrationally depressing projections of the future with more rational although still somewhat depressing thoughts.

Um. I saw Sideways again last night. I appreciate a movie that actually portrays realistic life. Even though...real life kind of sucks. It can be such a downer! Sideways isn't a downer really. It's a comedy of sorts but it edges close to being a downer. It ends on a note of hope after showing you all the crap you have to go through to get there. Happy endings are so important. If our lives end unhappily, does that alter their meaning? If our lives are crappy but end on a positive note, what does that mean? Does it even matter to anyone but ourselves? My dad knows I'm negative and I've struggled with depression. He sent me this quote by William Saroyan:

In the time of your life, live--so that in that wondrous time you shall not add to the misery and sorrow of the world, but shall smile to the infinite variety and mystery of it.

I hope I'll make peace with life like that.